What do you really want?
This is a very emotional question for some people because there is deep pain in not knowing what you want.
If you don’t know, you are not alone. Very few people have a vision for their life or know what it is they really want. One statistic I read quoted: 90% of people know what they don’t want, and only 10% know what they really want in life.
Are you there for everyone else in your life, but you? Are you the strong one for everyone else? Do you find yourself pretending to be happy when deep inside you are sad and feel alone? Do you not speak up even if you disagree so as not to rock the boat?
When you find yourself doing everything you “should” instead of living your life in a way that fulfills you, this is a red flag.
When you don’t know what you really want for yourself, or if you are not clear and moving towards it, you have lost connection with your true self and with your sense of purpose and meaning in your own life. Both of these connections are necessary for overall happiness and wellbeing.
Being there for everyone else BUT YOU, erodes your self-esteem with every action you take and thought you have. Eroding self-esteem generates stressful emotions, which play havoc with your health and wellbeing by leaving you unfulfilled and disconnected from yourself as well as weakening your immune system.
Where does self-esteem come from?
Your self-esteem comes from your beliefs about yourself.
…Do you believe you are worthy of having what you want?
…Do you believe you deserve what you want?
…Do you believe you can have what you want? Do you love yourself?
…Do you believe in yourself?
You may think you have these beliefs, but the proof is in the results you have in your life.
Do you love the results you have now? Is your health and well-being all that you love? Are your relationships loving and fulfilling? Are you doing work each day that fulfills you and allows you to feel good about yourself? Do you feel abundant with time and money freedom to do what you would love?
Your beliefs about yourself are reflected in your thoughts. Your thoughts create your emotions. Based on your emotional state, you choose which actions to take or not. And the actions you take or not ultimately create the results you have in your life.
If you do not like what you are experiencing in your life, there is great news. YOU (and only you) can change the results you have created for yourself.
YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS OR EMOTIONS.
You are more than that and you have the ability to change your beliefs and thoughts which will create new emotions, actions, and results in your life.
What you need is new understanding, awareness, consistency, and repetition over time to shift this.
When you can identify the limiting beliefs and thoughts that underlie your negative emotions and actions, you are able to create new beliefs and thoughts. Over time and with AWARENESS, you can create new neural pathways so that the new thoughts and beliefs become your new habits to your new way of being and creating what you want in your life.
Beliefs –> Thoughts –> Emotions –> Actions –> Results
TIP: Next time you find you are having a negative emotion about yourself or your situation, take a few minutes when you can to ask yourself: “what was I thinking in that moment?” “How did that thought make me feel?” Once you can identify the thought you had before the feeling, you can change it to a thought that makes you FEEL better.
Example, your partner was angry about something you did. You immediately thought, how stupid of me, I didn’t mean to upset him. And then you felt ashamed, stupid, less than, when in reality, your partner’s anger is about your partner and not you. What if next time you could stop your usual thoughts and think, my partner is having a difficult time right now. I think I’ll go in the other room and give him/her some space. This way you get to keep feeling good. Try it!
To learn more about your core limiting beliefs, finding and living your life with purpose, and living a life you LOVE, click here.